A TEXT POST

2 Wrock Songs With Lyrics That Just Sound Plain Wrong

Hello wrock fans. Sorry I haven’t posted in awhile, but I just couldn’t think of anything to write. Then it came to me while I was listening to a song by Draco and the Malfoys. I scoured my entire wrock collection, but unfortunately,was only able to find one more song that sounds at all pervy…unintentionally pervy at least(Yes, I’m looking at you, Swish and Flick) So if you can think of any more, let me know and I just might add them to this list. So without further ado…

2 WROCK SONGS WITH LYRICS THAT JUST SOUND PLAIN WRONG

1. All I Want For Christmas (Draco and the Malfoys)

"All I’m really asking of you, pretty, pretty please, is to use your evil powers to bring Harry to his knees.”

It’s practically impossible for a Drarry fangirl not to spot this one. Funny how in a song about how much Draco hates Harry, we can still manage to squeeze a sex joke out of it.

2. Grab My Wand (Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls)

"Go ahead, grab my wand. See what I can do. Go ahead, grab my wand. I dare you.”

-

Let me know if you can think of anymore. Caio!

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A TEXT POST

Pottermore

So I got my Pottermore account yesterday and it is AWESOME! Of coursed I finished Philosopher’s Stone in a few hours, much like with the actual book and now I’m kinda just hanging out and duelling. But then, I started to notice something…the number of people willing to duel with me was starting to drop. So, I went into the Great Hall and guess what I discovered? RAVENCLAW IS SERIOUSLY EVIL!

I’m just trying to have some fun duelling, but now, all these Ravenclaws are telling people not to duel with the Slytherins just because they’re in the lead. Now, obviously, this isn’t all of them, but some…grr…it makes me mad. But, I do understand. They’re Ravenclaws. They’re smart. This is definitely a smart move. And Slytherin prefect Gemma Farley even said that Ravenclaws were always ready to push someone under a bus to get ahead. Boy was she right. Thankfully, we’ve got sweet little Hufflepuff sticking up for us most of the time, calling the Ravenclaws out on their assholishness. And there’s still a lot of Gryffindors willing to duel Slytherin (brave, yet somewhat foolish. :P) And then there’s my own house, easily the most interesting of the four. You’ve got the classic Slytherin stereotype—bullies who hate everyone who’s not in Slytherin and use the comment section to brag about their house’s success, and then there’s the ones who are trying to make peace with the other houses, which really did come as a surprise to me. RAVENCLAWS seem to be making most of the trouble (although Slytherins do have their part in it too) and it’s Hufflepuffs and some Slytherins that are trying to promote unity between the houses. Of course, if Slytherin were ever to fall behind one of the other houses, that would all change and we would slaughter you all, but I’ve discovered something—all we Slytherins want is to be successful. Don’t stand in the way of that, and we’re downright charming.

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HOLY MUSICAL B@MAN!!!!!

Greetings fellow Starkid fans. So as you all probably know, Team Starkid’s 5th musical, Holy Musical B@man was released on Youtube today. If you didn’t know this, HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK? If you haven’t seen it yet, you probably want to watch it before you read this because *SPOILER ALERT* (Don’t say I didn’t warn you)

So, the musical stars Mr. Supermegafoxyawesomehot Joe Walker as Batman (Who DIDN’T see that coming), Brolden as Superman (Cue the “Lupin CAN sing” jokes) and…Nick Lang as Robin (Okay, I actually didn’t see that one coming) And, just in case you were wondering, yes, it was absolutely amazing! I’m not going to bore you with a summary of the plot because, well, if you’re reading this, you’ve either seen it, or you’re planning on seeing it, but there’s a few things I want to talk about that I LOVED.

The first being, no Joker. Before you freak out and kill me with a hammer for saying that, I love the Joker. He’s like the most badass villain ever. But he’s so…DONE. He’s already been the main villain in two batman movies and, let’s face it, everybody was expecting the Joker to be in it, and Starkid LOVES to do the unexpected. I admit, I was a little disappointed that they killed him off at the beginning of the play, and, for a moment, I even suspected that maybe Sweet Tooth was the Joker in disguise, mostly because of Candy’s likeness to Harley Quinn (“It felt like a kiss” is an actual Harley Quinn line from a comic that is sitting on my bedside table this very minute) But I am glad that this wasn’t just another show focusing on the Joker because it would have been a lot less funny.

Speaking of Candy, am I the only one who is literally IN LOVE with Jaime Lyn Beatty after watching this. I’ve always loved her, but WOW. She looked HOT in this musical, as both Poison Ivy AND Candy. Lauren better step up her game if she wants to remain my #1 Starkid crush.

Another thing I liked was the rivalry between Batman and Superman. What was so funny about it to me, is the fact that it sounds EXACTLY like me and my mom. She’s all Team Superman because she’s boring and I love Batman because I’m not boring. We were literally having this argument just this morning. Can you spell Deja Vu? (Wait…IS that how you spell it? *Is too lazy to look it up*)

Whoa. Deja vu.

I also LOVED The number with the Super Friends because, well, duh. It’s the goddamn Super Friends! Also, the running joke about Alfred’s many secret identities, the fact that all the super heros were wearing underwear, how Sweet Tooth just kept pulling candy out of nowhere (*sigh* Joey would have loved that), the excessive use of the phrase “fuck you”, and also, Nick Lang singing. Because I’ve never heard him sing before and it made me smile. He’s another Starkid whose gone up on my list of favourites after seeing this musical. Like Jaime, I always loved him, but I love him even more now.

Now, there were a few things that I DIDN’T like. But don’t worry, the list is short. Number one, NOT ENOUGH LAUREN. Seriously, not only did she not have a very big role, but that goddamn mustache was covering up her gorgeous face for the majority of the show. Also, the lack of Harley Quinn, although, as I mentioned before, Candy did come pretty close. These two are kind of related though because I had my fingers crossed that Lauren would play Harley Quinn since Lauren’s my favourite starkid and Harley’s my favourite villain, and the fact that they’re both so goddamn adorable. But alas, she was just Commissioner Gordon. And, I admit, I did miss Darren’s music, however the new guy…whose name I’m not exactly sure of…(Nick Gage? Does that sound right?) did a really good job. The style fit this show better than Darren’s probably would have, but I’m still a bit nostalgic for my Harry freakin’ Potter.

Overall, I would definitely rate this in my top three favourite Starkid musicals. I’ll definitely be watching it again soon. I only wish I could show it to my family, but, as I mentioned before, they say “fuck you” A LOT. And my mommy would definitely not approve. Hmmm…maybe I’ll show it to my daddy. He has a sense of humour.

Now, before I end this, I just have one more thing I need to do. Ask YOU a question. Yes, you. (You know who you are) What was YOUR favourite part of Holy Musical B@man? And why does B@man always end up blue and underlined…?

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Songs About Snape

Snape Vs. Snape (Ministry of Magic)
Rating: ****
Notes: This song is about Snape’s internal conflict between good and evil. If you’ve never heard it before, you should really listen to it, it’s a pretty good song.

The Bravest Man I Ever Knew (Ministry of Magic)
Rating:*****
Notes: This was the second wrock song I ever listened to (the first I listened to intentionally; I found a Whomping Willows song accidentally before that) so it’ll always be pretty special to me. If I hadn’t loved this song so much, I probably would have written wrock off as stupid, but I started bawling halfway through this song and I’ve been hooked on wrock ever since. If you couldn’t tell by the title, this song is about how Snape is the bravest goddamn dude on the entire planet.

The Prince’s Tale (The Butterbeer Experience)
Rating: *****
Notes: This is…what, the third time I’ve mentioned this song so far?? Fourth? I don’t know. This is my all time favourite wrock song, so it’s not really my fault that it keeps popping up. If you still haven’t listened to it, DO IT NOW. Lena and Christian (Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls) are both insanely talented.

Without You (Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls)
Rating: *****
Notes: Really, really sad Snily song. It’s really hard to listen to this song and not want to use an unforgivable on James. Or maybe that’s just me….(And my mom says I’m not a Slytherin. Ha!)

Lightning Struck Tower (Ministry of Magic)
Rating: ****
Notes: I was debating whether or not to include this because it’s probably more about Harry, but I decided to put it in. To be more specific, this song is about Dumbledore’s murder and Harry confronting Snape afterwards. I think it still counts though.

The Hero, Pt. 2 (Ministry of Magic)
Rating: ***
Notes: I feel like three isn’t a high enough rating for this song, but I also feel like i can’t give ALL of these songs four/five ratings, so three it is.  (Is it my fault they’re all good?) Anyway…this song is basically about how Snape doesn’t wanna be a hero, but he is one anyway.

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Songs About Lupin

This is going to be a very quick list because I really should be getting to bed, so I’ll just be listing the song name, the artist, and a rating between 1 (*) and five (*****) as well as a quick little note.

Lupin’s Tale (Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls)
Rating: *****
Notes: Super cute/sad song about Lupin being a werewolf and being conflicted between trying to keep the people he loves safe and happy, and his desire to be with Tonks.

Give Me the Moon (The HMS Wolfstar)
Rating: *****
Notes: Another song about Lupin’s lycanthropy and also his love/friendship with Sirius (You decide.) Not a very well-known band, but this is such a sweet song. You HAVE to check it out.

Love Song For Professor Lupin (The Parselmouths)
Rating: *
Notes: This really isn’t the best-written Lupin song out there, or even the best-written song by the Parselmouths, but I still think it’s pretty cute or entertaining. I admit, I did have a little bit of a crush on Lupin in the books. (What can I say? I guess werewolves are kind of cute.)

However Far Away (Ministry of Magic)
Rating: ***
Notes: Another Tonks/Lupin song. Pretty cute, but I definitely prefer Lupin’s Tale because it’s a deeper and more well-written.

Lullaby (The Remus Lupins)
Rating: ****
Notes: This is a lullaby for Teddy from Lupin and Tonks’ point of views. Super sad and touching. I teared up a bit the first time I heard it.

Beyond the Veil (The Remus Lupins)
Rating: **
Notes: This is something I think they should have touched on more in the books and movies—Lupin’s reaction to Sirius’ death. I mean, the man lost his three best friends all in one night, then he finally got Sirius back and then lost him again. That’s gotta be tough. The rating’s this low because I think the lyrics could be a bit deeper, and there’s really nothing amazing about the melody. The subject gets a five though.

Marauders Forever (The Remus Lupins)
Rating: ***
Notes: Just a fun song about the marauders…excluding Peter of course, because everyone excluded Peter!!!!!! D:< (Sorry, just don’t think there’s any point in ignoring his existance, just because he’s a horrible pathetic human being/rat)

Teenage Werewolf (The Remus Lupins)
Rating: ****
Notes: This song is going to be stuck in your head forever. My parents always give me funny looks when I’m just chilling around the house and then belt out “I was a teenage werrrrrewoooooolff!”

This concludes my list of songs about Lupin. Now, I have a question for you: Who should I make a list about next?

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Did you know…

Chuck Norris’ boggart is Neville Longbottom.

Neville urinates felix felicis.

If Grindelwald and Voldemort got in a fight, Neville would win.

Voldemort didn’t light the Sorting Hat on fire; the Sorting Hat combusted because it touched Neville Longbottom.

Neville uses Nagini’s blood as soy sauce.

If you spell “Neville Longbottom” in Scrabble, it’s an automatic win.

Nicolas Flamel created the Philosopher’s Stone. Neville Longbottom created Nicolas Flamel.

Harry’s chest tattoo isn’t a Hungarian Horntail. It’s a portrait of Neville Longbottom.

Neville Longbottom doesn’t bow to hippogriffs. Hippogriffs bow to Neville Longbottom.

Neville Longbottom is what’s beyond the veil.

Neville’s patronus is Neville because nothing else is badass enough to represent him.

Merlin got an Order of Neville, Third Class.

Before Neville punched it, it was known as “Horizont Alley”

Most people can slam doors. Neville can slam Floo Powder.

Neville’s alphabet soup only ever contains four letters; B, A, M, and F

There is no night and day. Only Neville saying “lumos”.

It was once suggested that “Diagon Alley” be changed to “Longbottom Alley”. The idea was almost immediately cast aside because nobody crosses Neville Longbottom and lives.

When Draco Malfoy found out he was worth a whole 12th of Neville Longbottom, he cried for joy.

The wizard prison was originally named after Neville—it used to be called Bad-Asskaban.

Followers of Voldemort are known as Death Eaters. Followers of Neville Longbottom are known as Death Eater Eaters.

When Ginny and Harry’s children were concieved, Ginny was thinking of Neville. So was Harry.

A QUOTE

Severus Snape is one of the kindest, bravest, gentlest, sexiest men I have ever met.

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Top 10 Wromantic Wrock Songs

For the record, yes, some of these are overlaps from other lists of made. It’s not my fault! Some love songs are really sad (or funny, but that’s not quite as common)

10. However Far Away (Ministry of Magic)

"I know they say it’s wrong. Tonks, I can’t move on. However far away, in my dreams you’ll stay."

I admit, I was never a huge fan of Lupin and Tonks together—partially because he’s twleve years older than her, and partially because it disproved my “Lupin is gay” theory—but this is a cute song. And I am happy that Lupin found someone before he died…even if that someone wasn’t Sirius.

9. Orchideous Symphony (Ministry of Magic)

"Memories of you, it seems so long ago. They had always seemed too good to be true. Stealing hours from a normal person’s life, a person who could be together with you. She smiles at the wedding. And I’m broken at the wedding."

I like this song because it incorporates actual quotes from the book and also because it’s just so cute. Despite the sad-sounding verses like the one above, the chorus is actually pretty hopeful and both Ginny and Harry seem so determined to make it work someday, even though they can’t be together right now. I think it’s great that Harry finally gets his happy ending after everything he’s been though.

On a sidenote, am I the only one who’s noticed the word “hideous” in “orchideous”? Sorry, off topic. Moving on…

8. Hermione’s Song (Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls)

"I can’t stand to see you do this. And I can’t believe you gave him your kiss. See, it’s hard for me to show my feelings, but girl you don’t know what you’re missing. See, it’s been a long game of cat and mouse and I know I have shut you out. We belong together, Hemione. We belong together, just you and me. Just you and me."

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. ‘nuf said.

7. We Belong Together (The Parselmouths)

"Do you remember the day we met?" "Yes, I remember it was a day in spring." "Do you remember what happened next?" "Yes, I remember this gorgeous diamond ring." "And now it’s clear, darling, that we belong together. I tell the world that my heart belongs to you. Alone we’re great, honey, but as a pair, we’re better. And with the Dark Lord’s help, imagine what we could do."

This is actually one of the most tragic songs I have ever listened to. If you couldn’t tell, it’s about Lucius and Narcissa. It starts out happy in the first verse, talking about when they first met. In the second verse, they talk about joining Voldemort and getting the Dark Mark and Narcissa admits to being a bit distraught. In the last verse, they just seem utterly miserable, wishing for the days before Voldemort. At least, through everything, they still have each other.

6. In Which Harry and Draco Secretly Want to Make Out (The Whomping Willows)

"Draco Malfoy, what’s your problem? You’re looking kind of mopey and forlorn this morning. Harry Potter, what’s your deal? Are you having problem with the feleings that you feel? Draco Malfoy, what’s your issue? Do you need a hug or maybe a tissue? Harry Potter, give us a sign. Can’t commit to Ginny, so what do you have in mind?"

To be honest, I do not ship Drarry. I don’t read Drarry fanfiction and I find the pairing completely unplausible, but this…this is just goddamn adorable. Almost makes me want to climb aboard the Drarry ship….almost. (Drapple ftw!)

5. My Obsession (The Parselmouths)

"I am his right-hand woman, the dark Lord’s little pet. Someday he’ll say he loves me. At least that’s what I bet. My life is his for taking, I work and breath for him. The others are pathetic. I’m loyal through and through."

Yes, this is a love song about Voldemort. Oh, the irony! I had to bend a few rules in order to include this, considering Bellatrix’s love for Voldemort is more…well, obsessive…than romantic, hence the title I guess. But I really like this song. So it makes the list! YAY!! Even though half of it isn’t about any kind of love, but hate. Wow, I really did break a lot of rules posting this. Ah well.

4. Give Me the Moon (The HMS Wolfstar)

"The transformations are just like a living hell, and my mind turns into a place where nightmares dwell. But when the moon’s gone, and I’m certain that I’ve died, as the black dog, you’ve been lying by my side. And you promise me, you’d bring down the moon if you could. And though it’s plain to see that it’s impossible, that you would."

Don’t feel bad if you’ve never heard of The HMS Wolfstar. They’re pretty obscure. They have a myspace page with two songs that I stumbled upon accidentally. And boy am I glad I did.

Now, onto the song. Is it a love song? Well, there’s nothing explicitly romantic in the song, but I have a pretty good idea that it was meant to be Remus/Sirius. :P If you’re not a fan of that ship though, feel free to think of it as a friend song. It’s still adorable. :)

3. Without You (Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls)

"Baby girl, you are the one. You are the light in my life and you are the sun in a darkening world of jealousy of hate. So please give me a chance to circumvent my fate. I try to be everything you want. But he finds a way to your heart. Tell me that you feel the way I do. Baby, I can’t take this, I can’t make it without you."

"A sad song?? Why??" Yes, I know I’m sorry. Love songs are supposed to make you feel good, not sad. But why does it have to be that way? I say yay for sad love songs! Now excuse me while I go cry…Back. As a Snily shipper, I had to include this. I think it’s just so unfair that they never had a chance. Maybe if things had been just a little bit different…What if Snape had been a Gryffindor? What if Lily had accepted his apology and because of it, Snape decided to become a better person. But what happened happened and now all we’re left with is a tragic love story and a bitter old man.

2. Oh Ginny (Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls)

"Ginny my dear, what can I say? You make me feel oh so special. But I don’t think there is a way that we can solve this riddle. See, I’ve got a job I have to do, so I’ve got something to say to you. Ginny, I’m sorry, but my dear we’re through."

Okay, this one’s kind of sad too, but we know it has a happy ending, so yay!! Sort of similar to Orchideous Symphony, but by OBatR who, sorry MoM, I prefer. Although it’s very close. Both have amazing music, however I prefer Christian’s voice. Like Orchideous Symphony, this one has happy parts too. For some reason, I just keep cutting them out.

1. One Last Goodbye (Let’s Lumos)

"Don’t be sorry for anything, James. It took me long enough to pull away from your side. And as my screams fell upon deaf ears, I knew my only choice was for him to take my own life. I’ll tell him we love him and that we’ll always be there. And though my heart won’t beat for much longer, I’ll let him know that we will always care."

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that this is one sad song. The reason I gave it the top place is because, well, obviously it’s because it’s an amazing song, but also because, not only can you see the love between Lily (which, until this song, I preferred to ignore. TEAM SNAPE! WOOT!) but it shows their love for Harry. And considering this list is all about love, why not end it with the love that started it all.